Slip Slidin’ Away

It’s taken me a long time to feel like I’m back on “top of my game.” I haven’t really felt complete or successful in six years. I was a newly-minted civilian straight from military service, studying pre-medicine in college. I was killing it. The “Freshman of The Year” at my college and a 4.0 student, I was achieving everything I desired.

But then a funny thing happened – I met a girl. And everything changed. It’s funny how that works. I had a paradigm shift. My priorities and focus changed. (It’s amazing how that happens to a man having sex on a regular basis.) Before I knew it my grades had plummeted, I was married, suddenly out of college and in the working world. Before long I found out I was going to be a father. My entire world had changed in two years.

Don’t let me mislead you into thinking I was unhappy about all this. I was thrilled to be having a child and be married – but something inside of me could never let that dream of medical school die. I always felt like I hadn’t achieved what I was meant to. But over time I came to realize my wife didn’t share the same goals as I did, and for that and a plethora of other reasons, I woke up one day to see she had decided to make like Tom and Cruise.

It took me a good bit longer to get back to being me; to finding who I was and what I wanted. It took lots of beers, a handful of great friends, a half a year in a different city and the help of my faith to finally get back on the right track. And here I am. Amazingly I’ve come full circle.

I’m back in college; albeit older but definitely wiser for the times. And while my dream of one day becoming a doctor seems highly improbable due to my age and responsibilities, I found a middle ground with the Physician’s Assistant program. I finally feel back on top of the World. I am so excited and happy to be able and pick back up where I left off. Every day I get up stoked to go study something I love and get one step closer to becoming the person I want to be. There’s no doubt I will achieve my goals this time around. I just have to stay away from girls.

A mustache, a case of beer and the Adult Entertainment Industry

No one ever told me moving to Atlanta would be easy. Of course, packing up a suitcase and just driving off into the sunset towards a new beginning, a new life – it sounded so perfect. It’s almost like something pulled from the pages of a novel. Applying to work in the gay adult entertainment industry? I don’t remember reading that in a novel…but it’s not really my genre. I’ll get back to that.

There's really nothing wity I can post here...the pic really steals my thunder.

As my video blog mentioned the other day, I was turned down for a janitorial job. That was a really low blow to my self confidence and mental well-being. I’m not really sure why in the hell I was even applying for that position. They were correct in assessing me as overqualified for that job – despite the fact I have the greatest mustache ever. I assumed it would make me look more everyday-kind-of-guy. At this point though, a job is a job. I believe I said that job was as far down as I felt I could fall, but I was wrong. (No offense intended, janitors of the World.) I actually applied a few days back to be a stock worker at a place that stores and distributes gay pornography. Yes, you read that correctly. It’s most definitely not my dream job. Hell…I didn’t even realize such jobs existed. But at this point I’ll do ALMOST any and everything. I never heard back from them. Apparently I’m not qualified for that gig either. It’s probably a good thing. That’s a job you don’t want to have to explain to future employers.

All this time off and job searching has made me realize this: the world doesn’t have that much work for unskilled labor. And unfortunately for me, the things I am skilled in – Public Relations, Marketing, playing music loudly, drinking copious amounts, using cheesy pickup lines on women way out of my league, wasting hours on the Net – it’s very beneficial to be a hot chick, have finished college or more than likely both. (No offense intended, hot chicks of the World) I have never watched gay porn, so I guess I don’t have a background in that field. Maybe that’s why they too didn’t offer me a job.

My buddy Ted called and asked if I would come and help him paint all day tomorrow. He has a condo he’s trying to get ready to rent out. I thought this would be a great opportunity for me to make a little side cash – get a little change in my pocket, if you will. But alas, he wants to pay me in alcohol and food. I’m not sure what that story says about me. I like beer, maybe? Check. It is the nectar of the Gods – as good as cash in my book. Besides, it will break up the monotony that is my last few weeks. Painting while drinking and listening to some good ole’ Southern Rock – it’ll be like I’m right back in Alabama. I can’t wait. And it’s got to be better than stocking porn. So I’ve got that going for me.

As always, be safe, be good and be happy. See you on down the road.

Don’t Kick the Baby

Put that damn iPhone away and quit blogging!

College – It’s worse than I imagined it would be. These kids are, well…kids. Of course, they look so young to me. But worse off, they act so young.
Was I a douchebag when I was 18? Did I act like I didn’t care about anything other than myself and my pursuit of the opposite sex? I can’t answer that question fairly because that’s all I care about still – but I would venture it was.
So why do I care? I guess this class has just made me realize that I am offically not young anymore. Sure, I’m not 40 – but I sure as hell ain’t 18 either.
It’s odd – I walked in feeling vibrant, young and spry. I’ll walk out feeling the exact opposite. Maybe it was time. If being 18 and young means acting like these kids, I’ll keep my age, my gut an my Night Ranger cassettes and like it.
So here I sit in class blogging (thank you WordPress application for my phone!) Oh! Got to run! The teacher is yelling at me to put up my iPhone! And the other kids are laughing because the old guy got in trouble…

I’m a Creep

Tomorrow is kind of a big day for me. A really big day. For me to say that, it must be a big day, after all, I’ve traveled the world, fought in wars, worked at a “Super-Store” the day after Thanksgiving and washed dishes at a Mexican Restaurant on Cinco De Mayo! I know you’re wondering, “What could have him up in arms with such vast life experience?”

It's alright, ladies! I'm studying to be a doctor!

College. Once again I am going to school. I’ve only seriously tried to go to college one time before and I did quite well. However I met a woman and well…my priorities shifted. But here I am, many, many, MANY years later making my triumphant return to the land of frats and football. Honestly, the whole thing has kind of got me freaked out.

I’m not going to school to make friends – what could I possibly have in common with 18-year olds? – I’m going to focus on getting a degree. But I am MUCH older than the kids I’ll be in class with. Approximately 12-years older if I still remember how to do math. That’s a noticeable difference. For God’s sake, these kids don’t know how to denim-wash jeans, they don’t know what Crystal-Clear Pepsi was and worst of all they have NO respect for the A-Team or the Muppets. I am going to officially be the “creepy old guy.”

It’s a strange spot for me to be in. I’ve always felt young at heart, and I realize I’m not actually that old, but relatively speaking I’m ancient. I’m the giant sequoia of school. For God sakes, they’re going to hate me because I’ll study and ruin the curve! Oh well, I’ll have to manage. I won’t be comfortable, but that’s not why I am there. Who knows? I might meet some cool people. I’d like to say I’m going to keep my eye on the prize – getting my degree finally. But I’m a “it’s the journey, not the destination” kind of a guy.

Just remember, especially my younger friends and readers out there, that when you see that old dude in class – be nice to him. We have feelings too. I promise to not ask stupid questions, and I’ll try not to flirt with your women – just don’t grief me too much about the hair growing out of my ears and my frequent trips to the bathroom – the bladder doesn’t work as well as it once did. Hopefully my mind will.